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I'll Be Better

by Paige Beller

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    CD PreOrder for the brand new album "I'll Be Better" by Paige Beller. CD's available Sept. 18th!

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1.
I know that I made mistakes I fucked it up and now you hate The taste of me inside your mouth You cough me up, you spit me out You peeled the board, exposed the rot I must rebuild, it’s all I’ve got I can’t collapse, I can’t concede No, I won’t leave, you’ll have to drag me Kicking Screaming Drag me I let you wash right through my hands Like so much water, let the sand run Out of our hour glass Now bitter gates block sour paths You keep me quiet so discreet Can’t cowar, can’t admit defeat I followed you on bloody knees Now I won’t leave, you’ll have to drag me
2.
I love you, please don’t go I’l be better, I’ll be true You don’t love me, this I know But i love you, please don’t go We built our home out of clay Foolish, neglected the fire Dried up and crumbled away Now we have nowhere to stay Learning to stretch your bones Building yourself a new home And now you like sleeping alone But i love you, please don’t go I love you please don’t go
3.
I just may need you but instead I’ll take the tunnel through my head Into the brain of someone new I’ll be who you want me to be And the blanket is all you’ll see Won’t see the toes peak from beneath I trapped myself inside my head Beat myself up, left me for dead With failed attempts and cigarettes With no restraint I’ll forge a smile I wind it tight it’s just a lie To help me keep it all inside And I’ve been screaming now for years To get me out of here But i just don’t know where “here” is anymore Could you finally relate to me If i told you to hate me Deconstructed all of my disguise Until all of my walls were down And empty field noone around We’ll see how much you love those lies Cause my head would do backflips all the time If it would just disconnect from my spine But it won’t, it stays in line I spread myself so thin at times I can’t keep track of all my lines They overlap and intertwine It’s obvious transparency If you’d bother to see passed your expentencies I don’t need you ripping me apart I do that on my own just fine I stop myself before i start No surprise, no sleep tonight
4.
You took your time Thought she would wait forever For you to get your shit together She’d wait forever You love her so So what? She doesn’t know Get your shit together Run through tendons severed And she’ll say you’re illogical As she sits reading Brautigan Writing open form poems She lets nobody read And I think that she’s perfect She says we’re not working You broke the glass Tried to glue it together Now it still won’t hold water But i still looks pretty And she’ll hold you accountable She said “you fucking broke it And now you have to deal with it Deal with it without me And i know that you’re trying But you can’t reverse dying.”
5.
Now at least I know the leaves still fall in red and brown in Tennessee The boast still travel the Danube Despite the lack of me and you And as I lay the world still moves This tree has fallen and nobody heard a sound It doesn’t matter to the ground The fact you don’t want me around And I can’t help but feel bad But you only like me when you’re sad So when you cry i feel ...glad
6.
Piss Soaked 03:43
Here I lay Piss soaked on the tile floor Head in the dog bed We’ve been here before Maybe it’s simply a love for toxicity I don’t know why I still do do these things Busted mirror Hole kicked in the bedroom door Can’t find my wallet We’ve been here before How can we ignore
7.
Are you sound asleep? Are you wrapped up tight? When you close your eyes Who are you beside? If you do decide Don’t on me Cause when you’ve made your mind up I’ll go free I have no intent I have no designs Limping for the win Still end up behind
8.
You don’t have to call me anything Just call me anytime I know that words like “baby” are uncomfortable Confusing for our minds to try and unwind But i know that i’m yours Even though you’re not mine I’m constantly uncomfortable A feeling I can’t quell A nihilistic side that I can hide behind While throwing stones from safe inside my cell The prison was on fire You had to help yourself
9.
This penny is worthless It lies upon the Florida ground She worked hard She earned it What she deserved not what she found But she don’t mind She don’t care She don’t need anybody Collection of almost A toy pulled out just for a time At will, close the lid on the chest under bed locked up tight She don’t mind She don’t care She don’t need anybody
10.
9:30 03:07
She said “I’ve got fifteen minutes You can meet me at 9:30 if you’d like to say goodbye.” Set my alarm clock early Laid staring at the ceiling, barely made it there on time Then i walked slowly up the driveway and saw the look of pity in her sisters eyes She knew what I came there for I wasn’t gonna get it but I knew I had to try She used to love me now she don’t She used to love me now she don’t and now I see It was me to leave I got so lazy Made it easy for leaving nothing She said “I’ve got fifteen minutes You can meet me at 9:30 if you’d like to say goodbye.”

about

"'I’ll Be Better' relentlessly washes over the senses in a way that’s visceral and raw." - JASON SCOTT, American Songwriter

“Very few musicians can deliver songs that are emotionally vulnerable and simultaneously epic. Paige Beller captures all of these qualities and more in her songwriting, live performances, and attitude.”
Andrew Humphrey - Ghettoblaster Magazine

credits

released September 3, 2021

All songs written and performed by Paige Beller

Engineered and mixed by Patrick Himes at Reel Love Recording - Dayton, OH

Mastered by Alex McCollough at True East Mastering - Nashville, TN

Paige Beller: Vocals, Guitar, Keys, Drums, Drum Machine, Synth, Thunder Tube, Futon Mattress, Bass

Patrick Himes: Piano on “Brautigan”

Jason Watkins: Ghost Keys and Spooky Synth on “Failed Attempts and Cigarettes”

Peter Mills: Cello on “Limping for the Win”

Cover Photo by Bobby Tewksbury

Album art and layout by Katie Ann Marks

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tags

about

Paige Beller Dayton, Ohio

-Singer
-Sad Song Writer
-Guitar Player
-Piano Faker
-Synth Button Pusher
-Foot Drummer
-Skee-Ball Enthusiast

paigebeller.com
sofaburnrecords.com

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