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Failed Attempts and Cigarettes

from I'll Be Better by Paige Beller

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lyrics

I just may need you but instead
I’ll take the tunnel through my head
Into the brain of someone new
I’ll be who you want me to be
And the blanket is all you’ll see
Won’t see the toes peak from beneath

I trapped myself inside my head
Beat myself up, left me for dead
With failed attempts and cigarettes
With no restraint I’ll forge a smile
I wind it tight it’s just a lie
To help me keep it all inside
And I’ve been screaming now for years
To get me out of here
But i just don’t know where “here” is anymore

Could you finally relate to me
If i told you to hate me
Deconstructed all of my disguise
Until all of my walls were down
And empty field noone around
We’ll see how much you love those lies

Cause my head would do backflips all the time
If it would just disconnect from my spine
But it won’t, it stays in line
I spread myself so thin at times
I can’t keep track of all my lines
They overlap and intertwine
It’s obvious transparency
If you’d bother to see passed your expentencies

I don’t need you ripping me apart
I do that on my own just fine
I stop myself before i start
No surprise, no sleep tonight

credits

from I'll Be Better, released September 3, 2021

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about

Paige Beller Dayton, Ohio

-Singer
-Sad Song Writer
-Guitar Player
-Piano Faker
-Synth Button Pusher
-Foot Drummer
-Skee-Ball Enthusiast

paigebeller.com
sofaburnrecords.com

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