1. |
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I know that I made mistakes
I fucked it up and now you hate
The taste of me inside your mouth
You cough me up, you spit me out
You peeled the board, exposed the rot
I must rebuild, it’s all I’ve got
I can’t collapse, I can’t concede
No, I won’t leave, you’ll have to drag me
Kicking
Screaming
Drag me
I let you wash right through my hands
Like so much water, let the sand run
Out of our hour glass
Now bitter gates block sour paths
You keep me quiet so discreet
Can’t cowar, can’t admit defeat
I followed you on bloody knees
Now I won’t leave, you’ll have to drag me
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2. |
I'll Be Better
02:14
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I love you, please don’t go
I’l be better, I’ll be true
You don’t love me, this I know
But i love you, please don’t go
We built our home out of clay
Foolish, neglected the fire
Dried up and crumbled away
Now we have nowhere to stay
Learning to stretch your bones
Building yourself a new home
And now you like sleeping alone
But i love you, please don’t go
I love you please don’t go
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3. |
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I just may need you but instead
I’ll take the tunnel through my head
Into the brain of someone new
I’ll be who you want me to be
And the blanket is all you’ll see
Won’t see the toes peak from beneath
I trapped myself inside my head
Beat myself up, left me for dead
With failed attempts and cigarettes
With no restraint I’ll forge a smile
I wind it tight it’s just a lie
To help me keep it all inside
And I’ve been screaming now for years
To get me out of here
But i just don’t know where “here” is anymore
Could you finally relate to me
If i told you to hate me
Deconstructed all of my disguise
Until all of my walls were down
And empty field noone around
We’ll see how much you love those lies
Cause my head would do backflips all the time
If it would just disconnect from my spine
But it won’t, it stays in line
I spread myself so thin at times
I can’t keep track of all my lines
They overlap and intertwine
It’s obvious transparency
If you’d bother to see passed your expentencies
I don’t need you ripping me apart
I do that on my own just fine
I stop myself before i start
No surprise, no sleep tonight
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4. |
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You took your time
Thought she would wait forever
For you to get your shit together
She’d wait forever
You love her so
So what? She doesn’t know
Get your shit together
Run through tendons severed
And she’ll say you’re illogical
As she sits reading Brautigan
Writing open form poems
She lets nobody read
And I think that she’s perfect
She says we’re not working
You broke the glass
Tried to glue it together
Now it still won’t hold water
But i still looks pretty
And she’ll hold you accountable
She said “you fucking broke it
And now you have to deal with it
Deal with it without me
And i know that you’re trying
But you can’t reverse dying.”
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5. |
At Least I Know
02:26
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Now at least I know
the leaves still fall in red and brown in Tennessee
The boast still travel the Danube
Despite the lack of me and you
And as I lay the world still moves
This tree has fallen and nobody heard a sound
It doesn’t matter to the ground
The fact you don’t want me around
And I can’t help but feel bad
But you only like me when you’re sad
So when you cry i feel
...glad
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6. |
Piss Soaked
03:43
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Here I lay
Piss soaked on the tile floor
Head in the dog bed
We’ve been here before
Maybe it’s simply a love for toxicity
I don’t know why I still do do these things
Busted mirror
Hole kicked in the bedroom door
Can’t find my wallet
We’ve been here before
How can we ignore
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7. |
Limping for the Win
03:23
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Are you sound asleep?
Are you wrapped up tight?
When you close your eyes
Who are you beside?
If you do decide
Don’t on me
Cause when you’ve made your mind up
I’ll go free
I have no intent
I have no designs
Limping for the win
Still end up behind
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8. |
Constantly Uncomfortable
03:10
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You don’t have to call me anything
Just call me anytime
I know that words like “baby” are uncomfortable
Confusing for our minds to try and unwind
But i know that i’m yours
Even though you’re not mine
I’m constantly uncomfortable
A feeling I can’t quell
A nihilistic side that I can hide behind
While throwing stones from safe inside my cell
The prison was on fire
You had to help yourself
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9. |
Collection of Almost
03:04
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This penny is worthless
It lies upon the Florida ground
She worked hard
She earned it
What she deserved not what she found
But she don’t mind
She don’t care
She don’t need anybody
Collection of almost
A toy pulled out just for a time
At will, close the lid on the chest under bed locked up tight
She don’t mind
She don’t care
She don’t need anybody
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10. |
9:30
03:07
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She said “I’ve got fifteen minutes
You can meet me at 9:30 if you’d like to say goodbye.”
Set my alarm clock early
Laid staring at the ceiling, barely made it there on time
Then i walked slowly up the driveway
and saw the look of pity in her sisters eyes
She knew what I came there for
I wasn’t gonna get it but I knew I had to try
She used to love me now she don’t
She used to love me now she don’t and now I see
It was me to leave
I got so lazy
Made it easy for leaving nothing
She said “I’ve got fifteen minutes
You can meet me at 9:30 if you’d like to say goodbye.”
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Paige Beller Dayton, Ohio
-Singer
-Sad Song Writer
-Guitar Player
-Piano Faker
-Synth Button Pusher
-Foot Drummer
-Skee-Ball Enthusiast
paigebeller.com
sofaburnrecords.com
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